"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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