how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
