no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
