Where is the hickey?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
