Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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