His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
