Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
