Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
