Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
