I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
