Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
