How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
accomplished twins. life is a go
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ladies don't puke and tell
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
