look no pants
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
