I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
