it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
