if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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