She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
