the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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