I wanna bring you to show and tell
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
