do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
