The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
