I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
