Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm both gender and math confused
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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