I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
