just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
