how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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