Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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