smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
