The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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