Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
