drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
