at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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