THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
