Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
