Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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