Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
