There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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