go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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