We won't sleep together?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
