just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
