I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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