Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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