my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
