I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
