Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
