you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm like, not good at living.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
