I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
