Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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