i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
