Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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